When overwhelmed, many people do something to comfort themselves. My brother Gustavo, for example, pedals his bike while crying when a hard loss visits him. There are those who bake cakes, put together puzzles, fix gardens or paint watercolors. I write.

However, the day after my eldest brother, Vladimir, had his last breath it did not occur to me to write anything and instead I went for a walk on a gray and rainy day.

My mom, who was with him before the cremation, was able to witness an unexpected sweetness on his face:

– “He was the more handsomest looking guy!” she said to me, not caring about the grammar of her superlatives.

– “Beautiful! He had a beautiful and relaxed profile. My gorgeous son! His face had a serenity I had not seen on him before. We kissed him as much as we could to say goodbye.” she said narrating her actions with my other brother Simón.

– “And I was joyful sending him because he’s already as he always wanted: free and self-reliant.” concluded my mom.

Hence, Vladi gave us opportunities for moments of extraordinary spiritual tenderness through my mom and so many angels who help us during his life crisis.

The last few weeks were intense, of impossible errands and inhumane surrenders. Vladi, in his best style, fell asleep, having gathered us in love for his care.  Of course, being a foodie as he was, before leaving, even in his lethargy, he enjoyed a few drops of melon juice. With a very subtle gesture he licked his lips and displayed a suspicious smile. A smile very similar to the one my dad had when he also left earth. Like someone who knows that what’s coming is good.

Vladi’s friends from college called him “Claxon” because he imitated the horns of old chariots with great fidelity: “ah-ooh-ga, ah-ooh-ga”! Doing so -when there was something to be done- he grabbed the attention of his audience and made them focus and feel amused at the same time.

His sense of humor is legendary, with great jokes and bad ones that give more laughter. Once we were in the theater watching a movie and people around us were making noise with the wrappers of their candies. Vladimir stood with his popcorn handy and started to throw it to the offenders, like someone feeding chickens, while saying “Cluck, cluck, cluck! Eat, chickens, eat! That’s what we came here for!”

Well, my sisters and I were in charge of the errands before Vladimir’s container (AKA body) went to our common destination: dust.

Since I can’t physically be with my family in Venezuela, after it was done, and my mom declared her son the most beautiful guy ever, it occurred to me to go for a walk to tame the pain and remember that my brother is still with us in our hearts and memories.

It was cold and raining here in Minneapolis, where I live. Close to home, I saw about three earthworms on the road. With a stick I pick them up and tossed them in the bush. A few steps ahead, I notice that there were dozens of worms all over the roadway. To my amazement the amounts increased as I kept walking.

Almost arriving home, I heard inside me Vladimir’s voice saying “Maru, please! Find a bowl and collect some of these earthworms. Use them in your garden.”

Here, it’s relevant to mention that Vladi was (or is?) bossy, multi-talented and a genius inventor. In the family we call him MacGyver. Among some of his careers and capabilities were agricultural engineer, remarkable bass singer, paramedic, special needs expert, musician, passionate firefighter, gardener, landscaper and some others. He was a professor as well, adored by his students in community colleges, universities and wherever he had the opportunity to show off his incredible erudition. I’m afraid I don’t have the knowledge or space to list his ventures, most of which were quietly or resoundingly shipwrecked without discouraging him from continuing to invent.

He was able to conceive, design and manufacture anything using a clip, a rubber band and a chemical reaction. Just like a real life MacGyver. For example, he created beauty in a desert area, teaching the neighbors how to cultivate cactus and other desert succulent plants in wastelands. Just for fun and because he knew how to do it! His ashes will be spread there by his students and loved ones.

Returning to the earthworm story, I half-scolded hurried to follow Vladi’s directions. I was in it when I heard my brother’s voice again saying “And by the way, when you’re finished, sit down to write me my farewell. I’ve not seen any intention from you so far!”

So here I am; being obedient to my bossy brother.

All being said, the only thing that defeated his relentless creativity was the failures of his body and his inability to take care of himself. That’s why the idea that he’s already free comforts me, together with the knowing that the vessel of his soul will be soon circulating in the universe as particles.

May his soul now have the means to (finally!) express and received the love he deserves. From the unknown, Vladimir will invent a device so we know that. Mark my words!